Its interesting what God can do in our lives despite our efforts to thwart His will. Why do we sometimes struggle to find the surface? God sets in front of us what we need to follow him, kind of similar to using road signs to get direction. but today, I just don't feel like reading those signs. Stupid, yes, but also common. Why do God's "people" continually make life harder than it should be? My heart is again completely ripped open. I am not a depressed person, usually, but this is different. I empathize with those individuals who suffer from chronic depression. It really sucks. why do we as "Christians" take so much and give so little? Why do we trash those around us to make ourselves look good? Why do we take advantage of people really seeking God's will? Why does God allow this to happen? I KNOW THE ANSWERS TO THE QUESTIONS!! I just seem to enjoy asking them so I can wallow in self pity for a while. Great rambling. Great journaling. Great release to the great cloud. I want to find Jesus, and I mean FIND him. As a church-goer, I have a lot of head knowledge, but not much heart knowledge. I KNOW I belong to Him, but I feel like the prodigal son, at the bottom of the pig pen. My Father is out there somewhere, I just need to find the way home. I just get so tired of the game. Church really does focus on our filling roles to keep the machine alive and Christ, in many ways, is nowhere to be found. Enough! of the game and comments for today.